I am getting so anxious to get back to Texas. Its sooo hard being patient. I just keep thinking about what needs to be done, even though its really nothing until I actually get back to the state. Then I need to get our stuff out of Alli's, get the storage unit cleaned out, unpack, and spend lots of time by the pool :).
I miss Greggles and I cant wait for him to be hooommmmeeee. Thats pretty much all I think about :D
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Quel Jour!
Its April 19th. In Texas its 90 degrees with a chance of wildfires. Here its 28 and winter weather advisory. So you can imagine, when laying in bed and feeling really really cold air, my thoughts were as follows:
1. Did the cats turn off the furnace again?
2. Why do I hear birds..
3. Wait that was Leo chirping and that means a door is open.
4. Oh no how long? Will Abbers ever come back?
I found Abbi playing in the stones by the playground we have. I think she thought it was a giant litterbox. Maddi was hiding behind the hottub, and Leo had decided he was just fine laying on my bed. Disaster #1 taken care of. I walk upstairs, only to find Alli got diarrhea all over the kitchen. So as I'm trying to hold down puking while cleaning that up.. I start to think its not gonna be a fun day.
I wiped up the mess, swept the floor, then mopped the floor. Sometime in there Alli puked by the kitchen table. I found this out later by stepping in it. More mopping. Then I decided heck with it, and cleaned the whole upstairs. I lost motivation before I hit the dishes though. The kids can do those. Im pooped.
So now Im ready for the snow. What a day it has already been and its only 2!
Yesterday was me n Gregs 2 year anniversary. So naturally Im a bit bummed and I miss him lots. I wish he was home so we could have celebrated. <3
1. Did the cats turn off the furnace again?
2. Why do I hear birds..
3. Wait that was Leo chirping and that means a door is open.
4. Oh no how long? Will Abbers ever come back?
I found Abbi playing in the stones by the playground we have. I think she thought it was a giant litterbox. Maddi was hiding behind the hottub, and Leo had decided he was just fine laying on my bed. Disaster #1 taken care of. I walk upstairs, only to find Alli got diarrhea all over the kitchen. So as I'm trying to hold down puking while cleaning that up.. I start to think its not gonna be a fun day.
I wiped up the mess, swept the floor, then mopped the floor. Sometime in there Alli puked by the kitchen table. I found this out later by stepping in it. More mopping. Then I decided heck with it, and cleaned the whole upstairs. I lost motivation before I hit the dishes though. The kids can do those. Im pooped.
So now Im ready for the snow. What a day it has already been and its only 2!
Yesterday was me n Gregs 2 year anniversary. So naturally Im a bit bummed and I miss him lots. I wish he was home so we could have celebrated. <3
Thursday, April 7, 2011
War Does Not Define Character- It Reveals It
I used to think that deployments were all about misery, and just learning to "deal". I've been reading this book lately called Confessions of a Military Wife by Mollie Gross. I suggest anyone and everyone to read it. (Thanks so much Kelly). Its about becoming an "independant" and all the things you can do and should do during a deployment. The more I read, the more I realize how much I have figured out on my own in the past 2 deployments. Sure they weren't 7 months, or a year, they were 2 months and this one will be around 3. But You can learn a lot in 5 months of separation, especially in the first 2 years of your marriage. You learn to try not to be selfish. You will fight over money. You will fight about not hearing from them, but its ok. Because at one point or another, we all pick fights. My mom would say "Gwen just stop fighting" I love my mother, but she doesn't quite understand. She can sit here day after day and see my ups and my downs, but she cannot tell me what I'm feeling. And no one can. Other wives or girlfriends or fiances can relate. But only you know what you are feeling.
I feel happy, sad, frustrated, angry, exhausted, awake, usually all in the span of 5 minutes. I feel motivated, and depressed, and then like I have no energy left for anything but mindless facebook games. Today I was tired, angry, worn out, my back and shoulders hurt, but at the same time I was laughing, and a few minutes later would just want to collapse. I worked through my furstration just trying to hang on until the moment Greg would call. And you know what: I lived. We all do. We work through masses of emotions everyday. Theres always the nagging feeling in the back of your mind, what if? But you cant let it rule you or even admit to its existance.
Anyway my point was, this book helped me realize that I am ok. I have hobbies, I have friends. I regret not making more friends with more people's wives, but the truth is, I just dont see many wives my age running around at squadron functions. If I did I feel like things would be different. I've started excercising again, and getting your blood pumping is a definite must. Anyways. I just wanted to say, I'm good. I enjoy painting, taking the parents dog for a walk, snuggling with my kitties, watching copious amounts of tv, reading, and scrapbooking. I have hobbies, friends, and a great family, and wonderful inlaws. I'll be just fine.
Love to all!
I feel happy, sad, frustrated, angry, exhausted, awake, usually all in the span of 5 minutes. I feel motivated, and depressed, and then like I have no energy left for anything but mindless facebook games. Today I was tired, angry, worn out, my back and shoulders hurt, but at the same time I was laughing, and a few minutes later would just want to collapse. I worked through my furstration just trying to hang on until the moment Greg would call. And you know what: I lived. We all do. We work through masses of emotions everyday. Theres always the nagging feeling in the back of your mind, what if? But you cant let it rule you or even admit to its existance.
Anyway my point was, this book helped me realize that I am ok. I have hobbies, I have friends. I regret not making more friends with more people's wives, but the truth is, I just dont see many wives my age running around at squadron functions. If I did I feel like things would be different. I've started excercising again, and getting your blood pumping is a definite must. Anyways. I just wanted to say, I'm good. I enjoy painting, taking the parents dog for a walk, snuggling with my kitties, watching copious amounts of tv, reading, and scrapbooking. I have hobbies, friends, and a great family, and wonderful inlaws. I'll be just fine.
Love to all!
Sunday, April 3, 2011
The Deployment
SO basically I haven't written in forever. I dont know why. I guess I feel like its because I dont have happy things to say, but then that sounds ridiculous a lot has happened that I am happy about but the feeling of missing Gregory takes over and I hate sounding like a whiney child instead of a grown up when I blog. Anyway, things that I've found make me happy in the past 6 weeks I've been home. Since we've almost hit the halfway point:
-Netflix. I have now watched 6 seasons of desperate housewives, finished Bones, and watched countless movies and any other series where I had skipped shows (aka Glee, etc)
-Ikea. OMG I went to an actual IKEA store and I think I could have spent the next 6 weeks there planning out every single future home and apartment we shall someday live in.
-Courda Roy's. Like lovesacs only comfier and cheaper. We're getting on when Greg gets back.
-Music. I must spend an hour a day looking for new music that is amazing and then finding a way to afford all the new music I want. Because you know people who get sued .. cannot download illegally.
-Facebook. I know cheesy. I dont care. I will play citiville and farmville until my eyes fall out because you know what, it makes time pass. I like when time passes by unnoticed, because usually I am staring at the clock continiously counting down the days hours minutes etc that we have left.
SKYPE. Without skype I'd be a mess. Enough said.
SO the deployment really is going fine. I dont have any issues thus far, minus the 3 days the internet was out, those were kinda rough. I mean I'm kinda working, next week is my last week. I cant keep doing manual labor. My back just doesn't cut it anymore. I've recently decided my daily pain level is about 6 out of 10. When 3 ibuprofin multiple times a day it comes down to back or liver? Which would I rather deal with? And all those pills, only take away some of the pain, not even all of it. Which then makes me realize, I'm actually a pretty fricken strong person to be able to take this pain and barely ever cry or complain. My dad raised me to "be a man" when it came to my back. But lately I have decided I would like to stop feeling like a 55 year old woman who can throw her neck out getting out of bed. I want back surgery. I dont care anymore, this is seriously affecting my life in an incredibly negative way and the thought of being pregnant in a couple years with back pain like this already, its enough to make me second guess wanting kids. I know the recovery will be a ridiculous process, but I want a better life for me and for Greg. Poor guy has to sit and listen to me whine knowing he cant do anything about it but give me a little massage and hope it helps.
So thats whats going on in my life. Really nothing too extravagent but I will try and write more, and more often. Love to all my family far away! *cough*Bry*cough*
-Netflix. I have now watched 6 seasons of desperate housewives, finished Bones, and watched countless movies and any other series where I had skipped shows (aka Glee, etc)
-Ikea. OMG I went to an actual IKEA store and I think I could have spent the next 6 weeks there planning out every single future home and apartment we shall someday live in.
-Courda Roy's. Like lovesacs only comfier and cheaper. We're getting on when Greg gets back.
-Music. I must spend an hour a day looking for new music that is amazing and then finding a way to afford all the new music I want. Because you know people who get sued .. cannot download illegally.
-Facebook. I know cheesy. I dont care. I will play citiville and farmville until my eyes fall out because you know what, it makes time pass. I like when time passes by unnoticed, because usually I am staring at the clock continiously counting down the days hours minutes etc that we have left.
SKYPE. Without skype I'd be a mess. Enough said.
SO the deployment really is going fine. I dont have any issues thus far, minus the 3 days the internet was out, those were kinda rough. I mean I'm kinda working, next week is my last week. I cant keep doing manual labor. My back just doesn't cut it anymore. I've recently decided my daily pain level is about 6 out of 10. When 3 ibuprofin multiple times a day it comes down to back or liver? Which would I rather deal with? And all those pills, only take away some of the pain, not even all of it. Which then makes me realize, I'm actually a pretty fricken strong person to be able to take this pain and barely ever cry or complain. My dad raised me to "be a man" when it came to my back. But lately I have decided I would like to stop feeling like a 55 year old woman who can throw her neck out getting out of bed. I want back surgery. I dont care anymore, this is seriously affecting my life in an incredibly negative way and the thought of being pregnant in a couple years with back pain like this already, its enough to make me second guess wanting kids. I know the recovery will be a ridiculous process, but I want a better life for me and for Greg. Poor guy has to sit and listen to me whine knowing he cant do anything about it but give me a little massage and hope it helps.
So thats whats going on in my life. Really nothing too extravagent but I will try and write more, and more often. Love to all my family far away! *cough*Bry*cough*
Monday, February 28, 2011
Long Time
So its been awhile since I've written. But I try not to come on here and whine, and lately thats all I've really wanted to do. Feeling sorry for myself because I miss Greggles so much. Life always seems so unfair when deployments come. I get angry, upset, sad, and I just want to start fights and blame everything else on everyone else. Truth is, deployments stink. Yes, I am doing ok. But they still suck. We're only 16 days into this one, and it already feels like a lifetime. What can I say? I miss my husband and life is not the same without him.
Plus without him around, I feel like I have nothing to write about, because I like to write about "our" life, not my life. So it feels silly. So if I dont write as much in the future that would be why. The good news is, I found the place I want to move into when we get back. Its a townhouse, and I think its perfect. So yay!
Greg is doing just fine. He made it there safely, I made it home safely. He's flying missions and enjoying life for the most part. He did get sick for awhile right away when he got there, but he's all better now. Today he even learned how to play Spades. :)
The kitties are fine. Adusting to life in their basement. Oh yes, I said their basement. They have taken over acting like the whole thing is their playground, but its cute. I like seeing them running around and playing and being happy. They still snuggle with me at night, so I know they aren't too upset about the move.
Well love to all! I'm out :)
Plus without him around, I feel like I have nothing to write about, because I like to write about "our" life, not my life. So it feels silly. So if I dont write as much in the future that would be why. The good news is, I found the place I want to move into when we get back. Its a townhouse, and I think its perfect. So yay!
Greg is doing just fine. He made it there safely, I made it home safely. He's flying missions and enjoying life for the most part. He did get sick for awhile right away when he got there, but he's all better now. Today he even learned how to play Spades. :)
The kitties are fine. Adusting to life in their basement. Oh yes, I said their basement. They have taken over acting like the whole thing is their playground, but its cute. I like seeing them running around and playing and being happy. They still snuggle with me at night, so I know they aren't too upset about the move.
Well love to all! I'm out :)
Monday, February 14, 2011
Home
So Saturday finally came. I watched Greg walk off into the squadron with tears streaming down my face and tried to pretend to be strong. I know it hurts him to see me cry, so I saved most of it for the 20 hour drive home. I went back to the apartment, picked up the cats, and started my drive. I thought about a lot on the way home. All of our goals, things we did for my birthday. Walking around San Antonio with coffee and hand in hand. Sure it was freezing, but we spent it together and I wouldn't have had it any other way. We ate at this wonderful restaurant on the Riverwalk called Boudros. It was expensive, but it was romantic and cute and pretty perfect. He is the most amazing husband in the world and I will miss him terribly. I had put in Sara Bareillas in Kansas because I was getting bored and needed something to start singing to. Well half of those songs are songs I used to sing to Greg when he was in tech school to put him to sleep. So in the middle of Kansas, in the middle of the tollway, I let it all out. Cried all my tears for this deployment, this war, this stupid deployment. Because I know more are coming, this wont be our last, and I know it wont be easy, and I'm frustrated with that, but I also know we can both be strong. So I'm hanging in there just fine. Theres even a chance he could come home early! yay!
So today is my first day of being home and coherant. I'm going to unpack my clothes, try and keep Leo out of the crawl space he loves so much already. (Been in there twice and I caught him going for a 3rd). Then this afternoon me and mom are running to Green Bay. Yay for days off :) Love you all!
So today is my first day of being home and coherant. I'm going to unpack my clothes, try and keep Leo out of the crawl space he loves so much already. (Been in there twice and I caught him going for a 3rd). Then this afternoon me and mom are running to Green Bay. Yay for days off :) Love you all!
Monday, February 7, 2011
Countdown Begins
Greg is leaving this week. THIS week. And it makes me sad. Its always hard the first time that it really hits you. We've known for months he'll be leaving, but we're both really really good about not saying a word about it and ignoring it. We even managed to get his trunks all packed up without talking about the actual deployment. Strange huh? So Friday as we're driving home after shopping, it finally hit. But I figure if I do all my crying now I get to be comforted while it happens, and hopefully I'll get it all out so that when he does actually leave I can be strong. Hurray?
This weekend was fun. Fight night. The packers winning the superbowl.. Never thought they could actually do it this year, but I am so proud of my team for finding their motivation last month and kicking butt! Cant wait to go home and celebrate with the rest of Green Bay!
San Antonio tomorrow for my birthday. I'm excited. Always love that city. I really dont know what else to blog about. I mean the whole week of snowdays all we did was play Little Big Planet 2 and poker. We're all moved out of the apartment, but thats old news. The storage shed is full, our room at Alli's is controlled chaos.. and I have a new addiction to goat cheese quesadillas? Thats really all I've got. I'm excited for my birthday, and to be home next week. I'm gonna miss my Greggles!
Get ready Wisconsin! I'm coming home~!
This weekend was fun. Fight night. The packers winning the superbowl.. Never thought they could actually do it this year, but I am so proud of my team for finding their motivation last month and kicking butt! Cant wait to go home and celebrate with the rest of Green Bay!
San Antonio tomorrow for my birthday. I'm excited. Always love that city. I really dont know what else to blog about. I mean the whole week of snowdays all we did was play Little Big Planet 2 and poker. We're all moved out of the apartment, but thats old news. The storage shed is full, our room at Alli's is controlled chaos.. and I have a new addiction to goat cheese quesadillas? Thats really all I've got. I'm excited for my birthday, and to be home next week. I'm gonna miss my Greggles!
Get ready Wisconsin! I'm coming home~!
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